I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize
