I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
