I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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