Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I AM VODKA MAN
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize