Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
You made out with two different species that night
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
