How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
