Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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