as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
