I got chris browned last night
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
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