she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
