please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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