you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
