ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
