I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
