remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
