Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
