I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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