Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
