We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Fuck me I smell like cheese
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
