Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Welp...herpes.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
