we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
