I am puke
never play flip cup with pint glasses
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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