Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
