He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
