jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
now i know why i became what i already was.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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