so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
