A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
