Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
