i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize