I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
i now understand why vodka
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
