My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I yelled at your uterus for you.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
