Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
