love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
