hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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