Me too!
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
