I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
