he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
