yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
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