We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
