there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
