I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Fuck appropriateness.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
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