how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Randomize
