I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
can u get pink eye on your cock?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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