nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
