sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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