I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
try to milk me bitch
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
