How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
