I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
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