Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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