He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
