I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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