ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
