Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
