Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
