that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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