today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
