wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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