i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
