Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize